Saturday In The Park....

That song is on repeat in my head. I had such a fun time last night. My friend didn't want to go up close to the stage so I did a little wiggle dance in my seat the whole time instead of rocking out like the people upfront. The music was great and you could hear everyone singing along but that added to the sweet atmosphere. I could tell that most of the songs brought back nastalgic memories for most people in the audience. Actually, I think it was almost more fun to see so many folks letting loose and having fun, especially the 60+ crowd. You can tell the baby boomers are maturing and rock may well take over the Laurence Welk hour. There was one lady who Lindsey and I decided had probably been to a Chicago concert in the early 70's and still had the same dress for the occasion. She didn't care that she was sitting among a sea of non-dancers, she just stood up and did her own thing to the music. The whole night made me have that "happiness is going to burst outta my chest" and "the world is a beautiful happy place after all" kinda feelings going on. It was almost a perfect summer night. (Only way it might have been better was to have the Boy with me so I could sneak a smooch during the romantic ballads).

Now for something completely different. On September 23rd the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure is happening in Portland. One of the first cancers that my Grandmother had back in the 60's was breast cancer. I can remember being a small kid and seeing the shoulder pad like things she put in one side of her bra (she had partial mastectomy early on)and wondering what she did with them. Later after I realized what breast cancer was she told me more about her procedures and showed me the little black dots that resulted from early forms of radiation treatment. I decided that this year I was going to walk in her memory. I convinced Jeff to sign up (ok I signed him up and paid his fee actually :P ). So now we are a team of 2. I would love it if anyone else would want to walk. The walk is a 3.1 mile walk, it starts at 9 am and I would be happy to help pitch in for the $25.00 fee to join if that is a problem for anyone. Just let me know if you're interested by leaving a comment or emailing me at knottyknitsATgmailDOTcom. If anyone wants to make a donation to me you can go here for that. Any little bit helps and heck, if any one donates I may have a few prizes to give out....

On the knitting front I think I've decided to knit a couple 10" squares for Miner Blanket Project. They're fast, portable, I can use whatever stitch pattern sounds like fun and will hopefully bring some comfort to families who have lost loved ones. Sounds like a good project to get me outta my knitting funk.

Hope the sunshine holds and everyone enjoys their weekend!

Whew I'm done with weddings, I'm done with funerals, it's still summer and there's sunshine today! My bestest new married friend and I are cruising down to the Spirit Mountain Casino to see Chicago (flash back to 80's, 90's and Today!) and I'm very excited. I really really love the sound of a brass section in a rock band. In college we did a Marching Band feild show to a medly of Chicago so it should bring back a lot of fun memories. Plus I've never been to a Casino so it will be interesting, I may have to spend a few bucks just so I can say I've done it. Of course I have to work at 8 the next morning but I've decided I don't care how tired or unfunctional I am, I am gunna have some fun!

Speaking of fun, I keep reading about all the adventures my PDX Blogger friends are having and I feel like I've really missed out on a good thing! I wish I could go Shop Hoppin this weekend with the group but alas my parents are coming to town so we're going to the coast for the day :( Hope that they have a good time and that I can make the next one!

My knitting has been pretty quiet since the wedding... Oo oo I never posted that I did actually manage to finish the garter. It was beautiful and later I'll find my pics to post. Of course all that work and as I was tying it onto her leg the eyelets ripped apart :( I need to do some emergency repair work and give her a shadow bow so she can put a wedding pic with the garter into it. Ok back to my knitting thought.. I have a horrible case of startitis. I really want to make Phyllo. I bought the pattern for Bee Fields and even some bee-utiful lace weight yarn that my friend Bob spun and dyed but I took a look at the 18 page pattern (yes eighteen 18 5+5+5+3) and felt a little daunted, it doesn't help that I've never made a provisional cast-on and so even starting is a challenge. But I will perserver and finish this shawl, my goal is Christmas so I can give it to my Mom, well see though (I can hear my own maniacle laughing in my head when I think of that deadline.) But Monkeys call (especially with the picot edging I've seen) and so many others. We'll see what I end up working on.

Well my ride is here so I'm jetting. Hope everyone else is enjoying this August Thursday as much as I have been! (waves)

Craaazy....

Patsy Cline is on permanent repeat in my head today. This whole summer has been a bit crazy. Luckily in 2 weeks it will all be over. My best-friends wedding (isn't that a movie?), where I am maid-of-honor, will be over. So with 2 weeks left I've realized exactly how much weight I've gained this summer (too freakin much) and since I tried on and bought the dress in April I'm getting scared. I can't even try on the dress to see if it fits because my bridezilla best friend (actually she's not too bad, just a bit of a control freak but that's normal) took all the dresses to La Grande over the 4th so she would know they were "safe". Well the dresses might be safe but I'm not sure my body is safe to fit inside it any more. So.. two weeks of eating very good, drinking lots of water and exercising 'till I fall over. Please send fat shedding thoughts for me so that my body will morph into a version that fits into the dress while allowing me to breathe simultaneously.

Another craziness... I decided over the weekend to knit the garter band for Lindsey's wedding. I've only been talking about knitting it since they became engaged over a year ago, but no, I wait until last minute as always. Now I could have chosen to do something simple with cute little eyelets and call it good right? After all who is gunna see it besides her, me and the groom to be? But do I choose fast, safe and easy? No! I go for a very lacy pattern (have I mentioned I'm new to lace?) from the 2nd Barbara Walker Treasury. You can see a pic of the pattern here except mine is done in an extremely fine laceweight which measures 19 wraps per 1/2 inch (I got tired of wrapping at 1/2 inch, that says something for my sanity and this project). I'm knitting the lace panel flat then will connect it and pick up the top edge and knit a few rows of stockinette stitch with eyelets every so often so we can run some ribbon or maybe some kind of elastic (or if I'm truly feeling wild maybe elastic with ribbon sewed around it) to keep the thing on her leg. On the bottom I plan to pick up stitches and finish with an Ocean Wave Edging, also from the 2nd Barbara Walker Treasury. I found a sketch of the pattern here so use your imagination. I may be delusional but I really think I can get it done. It's her something blue (a very pale sky blue merino/silk blend, I loves it so much!) so it's of vital importance (at least that's what I told Jeff when he asked me why I was torturing myself). I figure I can find time to squeeze knitting in between working full time, helping thread itty-bitty ribbon through itty-bitty holes in the wedding programs, scanning 3 million photo's for my friend to decide which she will use as a photo slide show (of the 3 million she will probably pick like 100 so much of my scanning time seems to be supercilious), picking up tuxes and the pressed wedding dress and food and cups and anything else that comes up, oh and loose 20 lbs too. Hmmm perhaps my subconscious has good reason to play Patsy Cline to me :P

By the way, it's good to be back and over the next couple days I'll try to squeeze a couple pictures outta my camera so I can show you my garter belt. Even though it's only a few inches long I'm unreasonably proud of it. I made my co-workers look at it this morning. I believe they were just nodding along and making nice so I didn't accost them with knitting needles or anything. :P

Oh yah I have to write a toast too.. Hmmm must start thinking on that!

Delores J Davey

November 18, 1930 - July 4, 2007

I've tried to write this post several times in the last week. It's hard to explain the relationship I had with my Grandma. She was such a huge part of my life and family, it is hard to imagine that someone who only weighed in at 80lbs at the end of her life could take up so much room.

My Grandmother didn't have the happiest childhood. She obviously felt disconnected from her mother and stepfather. I think it's because of this that she worked so incredibly hard and pushed her limits farther than anyone I have met. One huge example, 41 years ago she was diagnosed with cancer. During that 41 year stretch she was lucky enough to have one period where she went 5 years cancer free. Her second bout of cancer, 2 years after her first bout, she was told that she should prepare for death because they didn't expect her to live another 3 months. Well that was unacceptable, she was never going to die! She wouldn't even let her chemo treatments get in the way of everyday life. She used to go early in the morning to have her chemo, by herself of course because god forbid anyone see her in a frail state, then go to work and work a full day. She believed that if you just kept pushing yourself and stayed positive then it would all work out. Up until a few days before her death she was determined that she would get better. She wanted to call her old doctor so she could tell him he needed to "get on the ball and help me get better". She was furious when the hospice nurse told her that trying to get out of bed to exercises was not the best idea. Even after she was mostly gone and she would mumble things that no one but she understood, it was obvious that she was pushing her body to go on. Her body decided it was done at 11:30 am on July 4th. Freedom from her sickly body. In her normal fashion, she waited until we all happened to be out of the room for a split second, she wouldn't want us to see her in a weak moment after all.

During all this cancer fighting she managed to start a career in the early 60's, in fact she was the bread winner of the household. She steadily moved up the chain at US West and became the manager of all government/state contracts for the pacific northwest. She decided to retire in 86 but within a few months she was talking about starting her own business. She and 2 other gentlemen form Shared Communication Services, Inc. During their extremely successful 13 year run my grandmother was awarded Oregon's Business Woman of the Year and the company won Oregon's Fastest Growing Small Business. They sold the company for more money then I can imagine. The biggest reason for their success, my Grandmothers commitment to customer service and her knowledge that your employees need to be happy to give good service. I worked for their company during my summer vacations in high school and everyone I worked with told me how amazing and wonderful she was. It took me many years to realize how right they were.

We're holding services for my Grandmother on Saturday in Salem. I'm a bit nervous and I have a sense that there will be an overwhelming amount of people there. I'm reading The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and speaking briefly about her. I'm the lucky one, my Grandmother and I had a very special relationship. I think when I was born she realized that she'd spent her daughters childhood at work and was trying to toughen them for the real world. She must have decided that it would be different with me. I would spend almost the entire summer with Grandma and Grandpa. They would take me to the beach, Grandma would take me to flower festivals and as a special treat I would spend the afternoon at her work! (Funny how that was a treat back then and now it's the last place I would voluntarily be :P ) After my Grandpa passed she and I became even closer. I think she shared more with me then she did anyone and I feel privileged to be in that position. I have a feeling I will miss her in ways I can't imagine today. I hope that she is at peace with herself and her life and is dancing somewhere right now.


(BTW as if Saturday wasn't full enough, I am throwing my best friends bachelorette party in the evening. I would love it if ya'll would send some knitterly mojo my way so I have enough fortitude left to throw a part for 15 ladies. I think this may be the most bizarre day in my life :P )

Lost in Yonkers

I may have lost my knitting mojo... I'm not sure but it seems possible. Yesterday was knit night. All day I debated about going or not going. Normally I would never ever think of not going but lately I've been feeling very blah. I know that I always feel better after I go. I know that I love the people there and feel like part of a group. I know they don't care what I look like or if my knitting sucks or any of that stuff and that's a comforting thought but I just felt yucky and mopey. As I left work I really wasn't sure where I was going but my car headed toward knit night. I drove all the way to Killingsworth (this took about 20 min.) still debating with myself then decided I should go to Salem for the evening and help Mom out. So I turn around and drove for 50 minutes, only making it as far as Wilsonville with no end of the stop and go traffic in sight. Since Wilsonville is still like 35 miles from Salem and it had taken me almost an hour to drive maybe 15 miles I decided that it wasn't going to happen. I turned around and made my way home (another 40 minute trek). The only good part about all this driving was that I was sing/screaming along to an old CD that was in the car. It was therapeutic at least.

Once I finally arrived home I did knit. Actually I spent my knitting time seaming together the little cardigan I've been knitting. I did both sides and gave up on the sleeves. Too much effort, not enough fun. I'm tempted to start a new project but I am afraid that if I do I won't go back and finish this one. I seem (seam :P) to have that problem.

So this weekend the plan is to go to Salem and give Mom a little break. Honestly I wish I could just take a vacation from the real world for a couple of days. Then I think about my Mom being there 24-7 and not getting any breaks and I feel guilty. I have time to myself. I still live in my own house. I still have my significant other close by. Most importantly I'm not watching my mother die before my eyes. Looking at it that way 2 days is nothing and it's much more important to give my Mom a little time for herself.

Time Flies...

Wow it's been a long time since I checked in here. I've been thinking about it, normally in the middle of work or as I'm falling asleep at night, not so helpful really.

Things have been a bit chaotic over the last two weeks. Jeff's sister, brother-in-law and their 8 month old came to visit from Georgia. I had never met her husband and obviously not the baby so I was a little nervous. Would my house be clean enough? (no) Would we have enough money for groceries to feed all these new people? (no) Would they think I was a total dork and tell Jeff he should find someone better? (I don't think that happened, in fact I think I made a fairly good impression, hard to know for sure though).

Then in the midst of all this my Grandmother had some medical issues and I had to spend a lot of time with her in the Salem hospital. So then I worried about Grandma AND my house guests. Would my Grandmother make it through the first night? (yes) Would Jeff keep his family entertained? (not so much) What if they release Grandma from the hospital, will I be able to take care of her until my Mom drove over from Minnesota? (they kept her, after major surgery they tend to do that but I was in panic mode - not used to making life or death decisions for someone) Will Jeff feed his family? Will he help clean up or any of that stuff? Will the baby find fun stuff on our floors to pop into her mouth? (no, no, yes - lots o' cat hair for sure) To top it off we were interviewing for a new person to assist me at work and my birthday also happened somewhere in there. So ya, lots of stuff going on.

My company has now gone home. I really enjoyed having them here, although I didn't see them all that much. I loved having a baby around and I fear I may have sniffed her head so much that all the baby smell is gone. I haven't asked yet but her mother hasn't complained so my guess is that it comes back :P So for that part of the chaos, all's well that ends well.

My grandmother on the other hand... not so well. While in the hospital they found bone cancer on her spine. She is in a tremendous amount of pain and the only way the hospital would discharge her was if Hospice got involved. Luckily, even though she didn't think she needed any help, my grandmother finally agreed to have Hospice on board. I am so so glad. My Mom was not sure how she was going to take care of everything on her own but they send someone everyday to check in and she can have a volunteer come for a couple of hours if she needs some time off. They seem like they are really geared toward taking care of all the family, not just the patient. I am so thankful. Apparently she will most likely only live for a few weeks, maybe a few months if we're lucky. I wish I could just take off the time from work and be there, I've even semi-seriously considered quiting. I don't think I will because I feel like it would be abandoning them at a bad time, but I really feel torn about it. I just don't quite know what I'm doing anymore.

On a brighter note I saw the Yarn Harlot! I went with the lovely Kathy from Vast Amounts of Spare Time. It was wonderful to take a step away from my life and chat with someone. I met a ton of wonderful knitters and sat in the front row to hear Stephanie speak. She literally made my week. I bought her book and almost every page I find something that I read aloud to Jeff. For a muggle I have been pleasantly surprised at how much of this he gets and laughs about. I heart that boy!

Knitting has happened as well. I worked to get this cardigan done for the baby but it didn't quite happen. I am now to the seeming point and hope to have pics for you later this week.

Wow, I think that just typing about all of this has helped, maybe I should share more often.

Holiday!!

Wanted to stop in and wish the world a wonderful 3-day weekend. I hope it's a good one. The sunshine this afternoon makes me want to go camping and swimming and bar-b-queing, all that fun summery stuff. Alas I am not doing those summery things but I will be heading out for a road trip with my bestest friend. She's getting married in La Grande in August and as her maid of honor I am going with her this weekend to plan wedding stuff and look at the church she's having the ceramony in. It will nice to see her Mom, when I was't at home I was at her house so I love her Mom like my own. I haven't been back in years so it will be interesting to see everything.

Before I leave I thought I would post up some pictures of my very own handspun yarn. The pictures I have are of my early skeins so they are a bit lumpy and bumpy but I still like them. I just need to figure out what to do with them!




Opps I gotta go! Have fun!