Craaazy....

Patsy Cline is on permanent repeat in my head today. This whole summer has been a bit crazy. Luckily in 2 weeks it will all be over. My best-friends wedding (isn't that a movie?), where I am maid-of-honor, will be over. So with 2 weeks left I've realized exactly how much weight I've gained this summer (too freakin much) and since I tried on and bought the dress in April I'm getting scared. I can't even try on the dress to see if it fits because my bridezilla best friend (actually she's not too bad, just a bit of a control freak but that's normal) took all the dresses to La Grande over the 4th so she would know they were "safe". Well the dresses might be safe but I'm not sure my body is safe to fit inside it any more. So.. two weeks of eating very good, drinking lots of water and exercising 'till I fall over. Please send fat shedding thoughts for me so that my body will morph into a version that fits into the dress while allowing me to breathe simultaneously.

Another craziness... I decided over the weekend to knit the garter band for Lindsey's wedding. I've only been talking about knitting it since they became engaged over a year ago, but no, I wait until last minute as always. Now I could have chosen to do something simple with cute little eyelets and call it good right? After all who is gunna see it besides her, me and the groom to be? But do I choose fast, safe and easy? No! I go for a very lacy pattern (have I mentioned I'm new to lace?) from the 2nd Barbara Walker Treasury. You can see a pic of the pattern here except mine is done in an extremely fine laceweight which measures 19 wraps per 1/2 inch (I got tired of wrapping at 1/2 inch, that says something for my sanity and this project). I'm knitting the lace panel flat then will connect it and pick up the top edge and knit a few rows of stockinette stitch with eyelets every so often so we can run some ribbon or maybe some kind of elastic (or if I'm truly feeling wild maybe elastic with ribbon sewed around it) to keep the thing on her leg. On the bottom I plan to pick up stitches and finish with an Ocean Wave Edging, also from the 2nd Barbara Walker Treasury. I found a sketch of the pattern here so use your imagination. I may be delusional but I really think I can get it done. It's her something blue (a very pale sky blue merino/silk blend, I loves it so much!) so it's of vital importance (at least that's what I told Jeff when he asked me why I was torturing myself). I figure I can find time to squeeze knitting in between working full time, helping thread itty-bitty ribbon through itty-bitty holes in the wedding programs, scanning 3 million photo's for my friend to decide which she will use as a photo slide show (of the 3 million she will probably pick like 100 so much of my scanning time seems to be supercilious), picking up tuxes and the pressed wedding dress and food and cups and anything else that comes up, oh and loose 20 lbs too. Hmmm perhaps my subconscious has good reason to play Patsy Cline to me :P

By the way, it's good to be back and over the next couple days I'll try to squeeze a couple pictures outta my camera so I can show you my garter belt. Even though it's only a few inches long I'm unreasonably proud of it. I made my co-workers look at it this morning. I believe they were just nodding along and making nice so I didn't accost them with knitting needles or anything. :P

Oh yah I have to write a toast too.. Hmmm must start thinking on that!

Delores J Davey

November 18, 1930 - July 4, 2007

I've tried to write this post several times in the last week. It's hard to explain the relationship I had with my Grandma. She was such a huge part of my life and family, it is hard to imagine that someone who only weighed in at 80lbs at the end of her life could take up so much room.

My Grandmother didn't have the happiest childhood. She obviously felt disconnected from her mother and stepfather. I think it's because of this that she worked so incredibly hard and pushed her limits farther than anyone I have met. One huge example, 41 years ago she was diagnosed with cancer. During that 41 year stretch she was lucky enough to have one period where she went 5 years cancer free. Her second bout of cancer, 2 years after her first bout, she was told that she should prepare for death because they didn't expect her to live another 3 months. Well that was unacceptable, she was never going to die! She wouldn't even let her chemo treatments get in the way of everyday life. She used to go early in the morning to have her chemo, by herself of course because god forbid anyone see her in a frail state, then go to work and work a full day. She believed that if you just kept pushing yourself and stayed positive then it would all work out. Up until a few days before her death she was determined that she would get better. She wanted to call her old doctor so she could tell him he needed to "get on the ball and help me get better". She was furious when the hospice nurse told her that trying to get out of bed to exercises was not the best idea. Even after she was mostly gone and she would mumble things that no one but she understood, it was obvious that she was pushing her body to go on. Her body decided it was done at 11:30 am on July 4th. Freedom from her sickly body. In her normal fashion, she waited until we all happened to be out of the room for a split second, she wouldn't want us to see her in a weak moment after all.

During all this cancer fighting she managed to start a career in the early 60's, in fact she was the bread winner of the household. She steadily moved up the chain at US West and became the manager of all government/state contracts for the pacific northwest. She decided to retire in 86 but within a few months she was talking about starting her own business. She and 2 other gentlemen form Shared Communication Services, Inc. During their extremely successful 13 year run my grandmother was awarded Oregon's Business Woman of the Year and the company won Oregon's Fastest Growing Small Business. They sold the company for more money then I can imagine. The biggest reason for their success, my Grandmothers commitment to customer service and her knowledge that your employees need to be happy to give good service. I worked for their company during my summer vacations in high school and everyone I worked with told me how amazing and wonderful she was. It took me many years to realize how right they were.

We're holding services for my Grandmother on Saturday in Salem. I'm a bit nervous and I have a sense that there will be an overwhelming amount of people there. I'm reading The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and speaking briefly about her. I'm the lucky one, my Grandmother and I had a very special relationship. I think when I was born she realized that she'd spent her daughters childhood at work and was trying to toughen them for the real world. She must have decided that it would be different with me. I would spend almost the entire summer with Grandma and Grandpa. They would take me to the beach, Grandma would take me to flower festivals and as a special treat I would spend the afternoon at her work! (Funny how that was a treat back then and now it's the last place I would voluntarily be :P ) After my Grandpa passed she and I became even closer. I think she shared more with me then she did anyone and I feel privileged to be in that position. I have a feeling I will miss her in ways I can't imagine today. I hope that she is at peace with herself and her life and is dancing somewhere right now.


(BTW as if Saturday wasn't full enough, I am throwing my best friends bachelorette party in the evening. I would love it if ya'll would send some knitterly mojo my way so I have enough fortitude left to throw a part for 15 ladies. I think this may be the most bizarre day in my life :P )